Sooooooo, another week, another episode of “True Blood.”
I must say the goings on had me less than elated the show has been extended for yet another season.
From the whiny Sookie again being rewarded for her damsel-in-distress foibles and the throwaway storylines delving even deeper into nonsense, I hardly know where to begin. But begin I must.
Remember, those who partake in Truesday understand it is their duty to have watched the episode, since there will be spoilers aplenty ahead. And unlike Eric, Bill and Alcide, we don’t like whiners ’round here. So go no further if you’re not caught up.
(1) Boom, Roasted (aka Tara Keeps Truckin’)
Who thought Tara was really going to meet the True Death in a tanning bed? Well, this woman can tell you that tanning is completely safe. Duh!
But seriously, the saving of Tara and her continued grumbling about Sookie to any who would listen, continue to keep me neutral on a character I usually dislike. And damn if that girl’s skin isn’t flawless, even after a near broasting.
(2) Whine and Cheese
Sookie’s self pity party rages on. Funny how we’re supposed to feel sorry for someone who wasted (the admittedly deserving) Debbie Pelt, turned her friend into the one thing she hated most on this planet, dragged her poor half-wit brother into the murder cover-up mess and even got Jessica glamoring folks on her behalf. But feel sorry some of us did, apparently. I don’t know how her drunken cavorting and messy hair got Alcide into her arms after several false starts, but whatever voodoo this woman possesses rivals only that of Elizabeth Taylor, Erykah Badu and Kim Kardashian.
(3) La Lucha Libre Lives
Lafayette is an awesome character when he wants to be, but he must have ticked some of the writers off. That is the only explanation I can fathom for this man being resigned to SMHing at Sookie’s foolishness and donning that stupid looking brujo mask. And if the extent of the witchdoctor power is to break Sookie’s already busted yellow car, well, let’s just say that Lafayette might want to go brush up on his spell-casting skills. The sight of him laying across her hood, tongue lolling around like that old-school cat clock. It inspired more hilarity than heebie jeebies.
(4) Random Plotlines
Guess what? Nobody gives a damn about Terry Bellefleur’s “Black Hawk Down” side scheme. The poorly acted flashback scene…(“Platoon”-lite) made me wish that ghost would come back and pummel him and Arlene with a day-old beignet. And where, by the way, is the couple’s baby? Guess now that he’s no longer the object of the after-life, they’ve stuck him in offscreen KinderCare somewhere.
(5) Cirque du Faerie
So, in other side plot silliness, Andy Bellefleur, Jason Stackhouse and the lecherous Judge Clemmons head out gallivanting to celebrate the fact that Andy is willing to fix tickets for important peeps in Bon Temps. They end up in the hands of faerie hotties who take them to an establishment that looks like the result of a mating between Moulin Rouge, Cirque du Soleil and a skeevy spot on Rush Street in Chicago. These faeries need to step their game up if they want to fool people. The grassy knoll/invisible club is going to get old when the champagne wears off.
(6) Child’s Play I hate to say this, but I do so on behalf of myself and my sister, Kozi Kyles. We’d had our fill of the kiddie vamp and his scene-chewing madness. Not a gesture, vocalization or overdone eyeroll eluded this young fanged friend. No offense as I am sure he will improve with age, but he bugged us, so when Elliott Roman decided to dispatch him, I wasn’t mad at that. Now, if they’d gotten the Paula Deen-esque councilwoman as well, it would have been even better.
All this to say: I don’t know how long I can hold out for the return of Russell Edgington.
Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode?
